Tips, ditties, musings, and more

Yoga for the time limited and space confined

I swear I don’t work for this company, I just really believe in it. Yogaglo.com is an amazing website, basically a yoga studio online. You choose the duration of your class (20 minutes right after the baby goes to sleep right before you crash on the couch?), the style (neck and shoulder practice for those who have been carrying around a baby all day?), and teacher (I have my personal faves, email me if you want to know who.)

I highly recommend it. Moving even the tiniest bit does so much for our mood. Best of all is that you get a 15 day trial.

www.yogaglo.com.

The more we sing with them the more they sing

My first son responded to music from the get-go. He sang with us, was attracted to the guitar, and often spent time in his crib singing to himself. We chalked it up to him having a musical inclination. Of course he was encouraged by my music therapy tendencies (how could I not mirror him?). See this video for an illustration:



Then came the next baby. This time I didn’t/don’t always have as much time to devote to his musical enrichment. I sing with him when I can, and he gets alot of music from his brother. Interestingly, I have an almost identical video:



The lesson I learned by my limited personal research? Yes, some babies might have more of a musical proclivity. But basically, the more we sing to and with them, the more they will sing.

Kids Music Events Blog

This blog is our go-to every weekend. For those of you who only have small babies you may not have succumbed to planning your weekend entertainment around your kids - yet. But trust me, you’ll get there. For those who have, this blog, written by Melissa Caruso Scott, former Tonic venue owner, comes in handy. I trust her taste, enjoy her blurbs about events, and usually attend at least one of her suggestions. It is hard to find a dependable guide that sends weekly emails about events. If you have been searching, search no more.

Super Sonic Kids

Sweet song about a day in the life with a baby…

Found it because I was listening to Pandora - because apparently I am now to be found on there!! Ok clearly it will take time until I sweep the nation. But meanwhile, I discovered the children’s indie radio station. Really sweet stuff. If you do hear one of my songs, give it a thumbs up! and please let me know if I make it into the rhythm algorhythm.

Lullabies

Those of you who are taking or took my workshop know that we talk a lot about using voice, rhythm and song for soothing. Lullabies are used to calm and coax the baby to sleep in many cultures. They tend to have similar characteristics – a simple rhythm and melodic structure. In fact it has been shown (Trehub, Unyk & Trainor, 1993) that even if you listen to a lullaby from a different culture, in another language, you will probably guess that it is a lullaby. Lullabies have been shown to regulate a baby’s emotions. One study illustrated that parental singing could lower stress levels that were heightened, and regulate the alertness of the baby (Trehun, 2001).

In bonding terms, lullabies calm the baby, and therefore calm the parent. This encourages the parent to sing more, bond more, enjoy the process more, and evolutionarily speaking, make more babies!

So, how does this look? Choose any song, hold your baby close, and sing softly. I say any song because  it still hasn’t been shown that the specific lyrics of a lullaby are important. If all that comes to mind is Lady Gaga, I say go for it! However, the simplicity of the melody and rhythm, are important, as well as the extended notes – perhaps Radiohead? Rock your baby to your song. As you see the baby getting sleepy, extend your notes even longer. The baby does not need to fall asleep in your arms. As your singing gets softer, put the baby down, whisper your parting words, and take leave.

The beauty of a lullaby is that it is an opportunity for intense connection for parent and baby before the big (halleluya!) separation.

Attached is a video of my wonderful doula, Shivani St. George, singing an Equadorian lullaby called Mariposa.

Just So

There is nothing like a baby to put us at odds with time. Freeze this precious moment! AND, what will you be like in the future? In their most lovable moments (not the middle of the night,) babies can be so cute, precious, funny, squeezable, delicious. And when those moments happen, in our utter enjoyment we also feel a push on our little panic button that says – “Don’t change! Stay the same!”

At the same time, every day brings new smiles, expressions, movements, sounds, behaviors, laughs. It makes us want to experience the wonders to come – tomorrow, next week, 10 years.

Conversely, sometimes we are with our babies and can’t wait for the moment to end and send them to sleep. But we also hear an inner voice telling us that time moves so fast and next thing you know we will be crying on our doorstep as our baby gets on the school bus for the first time, or takes out the car for the first time.

Through our baby the poignant tug of war of life becomes so much more palpable – This moment is perfect, if only it could last forever /What will the future look like?

Here is the beginning of a song I am writing about it.

Babies love to anticipate. In their world where everything is new, and there is no method of organization based on past experience, they get so much joy from being able to guess what comes next. Things that repeat themselves are the only things that make some sense. This gives babies a feeling of relief and of control. Just like we appreciate knowing what time our babies will take a nap – the slightest feeling of control is welcome. At the same time, babies also love surprises. There is utter delight in expecting something to happen but then being slightly surprised when it doesn’t.

How does this look?

You might see your baby smile as you make a silly noise, like – weeee! while bringing your face close to his. You can do it over and over and your baby will be thrilled – the thrill of knowing what is to come. But when you make slight changes, a slightly different noise, a slightly different motion with your head, or different expression, this makes your baby laugh. Suddenly, within the realm of known experience, your baby delights in a slight variation while still feeling comfortable.

Try to find games with your baby where you can give him the gift of expecting something to happen because it has happened before, while also delighting him with a slight alteration that surprises him and keeps him waiting for more.